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Our ability to express feelings and empathy attests to our positive qualities. However, it is important to know when it is appropriate to express them. If, after a conversation with another person, we feel exhausted, perhaps we should think about how to change our behavior.
We often have many problems in life
Of course we often hear complaints from our relatives and friends. On the one hand this is natural, people need to vent in some way, whether verbally or, for example, through sport. On the other hand, constant silence about problems and complaints takes away not only positive energy, but mainly life energy.
Some people talk about their problems to get support and advice. Others project their negativity onto everyone around them. And it’s important to learn to distinguish this phenomenon.
People from the second category may regard you as an insensitive egotist if you refuse their company. They may try to provoke in you a feeling of guilt or something else that will make you uncomfortable. Don’t be afraid! Your refusal will mean a surge of energy and self-respect after you break off this toxic relationship.
Why not listen to these people’s problems?
Because people who only complain do nothing to change their lives. They like to play the victim.
You try to listen to them, but how can you help them?
No. He doesn’t need that, he just wants to chat, but a goal-free conversation is useless.
He complains, subconsciously and sometimes deliberately refuses to admit his guilt that led to such failures. Professionals who know how to influence their thinking must work with these people.
A person’s own negative thoughts have the greatest negative impact on them
Complaints will never solve these problems. Your compassion will not help them, they really don’t need it. They are only looking for relief from responsibility for their fate. But that is impossible…
But what will happen to us if we continue to listen to their laments and complaints?
Basically we will be investing our own energy into a void. We want to help them in vain; their problems will not be solved. We will try again and again and the result will be that we become exhausted.
Symptoms of exhaustion
- Emotional imbalance
- Difficulty resolving one’s own problems
- Problems with concentration
- Emergence of negative thoughts
So what can we do to avoid conflicts?
Set and maintain distance. The person may be offended by your indifference. But if everyone stopped listening to your endless talks about the futility of life, you would finally start solving your problems instead of only talking about them. And maybe stop focusing only on the bad things — that’s something, right?
Allow him to understand that no one else is responsible for what happens but himself. Suppose you have listened to the person — man or woman.
Don’t waste time by honestly telling him that it’s just a drop in the ocean, because there is something much worse, and that is his overall negative attitude toward life, the environment and himself. If you have time, share your views with him. In any case, it’s up to him how he responds to change.
Don’t show your “weakness” Pity or complaining is in a sense manipulative. Don’t show willingness to get involved in their familiar negative talks.
This way you’ll kill two birds with one stone – you’ll have a clear head and the person may begin to realize that it can’t go on like this. A person’s negative thinking is rarely resolved. After exhaustion you will move on to the next “victim”.
Set boundaries. Ask the person in question to try to respect your right to personal space. The same goes for choosing the topic of conversation. Feel free to tell them that you don’t want to continually talk about all the tragedies in the world. Then they will be forced to divert attention away from the negative.
If you have another solution to this problem, share it with others on Facebook in the comments!
