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Family – it’s a very personal bond, the closest to us and, most importantly, it lasts forever. The desire to live in an ideal family is absolutely normal.
What if the people around you are far from perfect?
So what to do if someone close to you is a manipulator – will you turn your back on them or find a compromise?
“But that’s my mother!” Or father, sister, brother, daughter, son, grandmother… “It’s my family!” With these phrases we build our own inner barriers, indestructible walls that weigh on us inside and poison our lives.
In this article you will learn how to recognize a tyrant and take control of the situation. At the end of the article you will find a tip for communicating with manipulators developed by psychologists.
Manipulation by relatives is particularly unpleasant. To prevent emotional trauma, it is necessary to sever such ties immediately. To understand that a person is a manipulator, analyze the following situations.
Signs of a manipulator
1. Manipulating trust
Today this person comforts you and tomorrow belittles you. They pretend that you are not indifferent to them, that they sincerely want to help you. But in reality they don’t care. Listening and pitying is a special way to gain control over you so that they appear more attractive to other people they consider more important when telling stories from other people’s private lives.
Be careful about what you chat about with such people, preferably about nothing or the weather. It’s very easy to take the bait of a manipulator, so try to be cautious in your replies.
2. Exploitation
It’s better to keep such relatives at a distance. They know how to disappear for even half a year and appear when they need something. It doesn’t matter what the person needs: money, help, support, or comfort. After getting what they want they again disappear in an unknown direction.
It’s surprising that if you need help, such a relative will find hundreds of reasons to refuse.
Unfortunately, you must limit such communication. The irritation that builds up in you will inevitably burst out in the form of frustration, a scandal, or an argument. If you have repeatedly encountered such an attitude – avoid that person, be smarter and your conscience won’t nag you.
3. Not admitting mistakes
Such a person, even when their guilt is obvious and proven by other witnesses, never admits that they were wrong. On the contrary, they force you to believe that you share part of the blame for their mistake.
By causing confusion, such people manipulate others very easily. This form of psychological abuse is called gaslighting, where the main task is to make people doubt their own judgment.
Such people are extremely annoying; they are the ones you should keep your distance from first. Otherwise you risk getting into an unpleasant situation. If one of your relatives fits this description, try to avoid them. Always stand your ground, and if you start to doubt yourself, know that it’s manipulation.
4. Constant criticism
Such a person is a skeptic and will always find fault. Of course, each of us has the right to be mistaken. But condemnation and endless reproaches seriously destroy self-esteem.
To accuse and humiliate others – that’s when the manipulator takes the lead. Staying calm in such a situation is almost impossible. Try to avoid such people as much as possible. However, if you do find yourself in such a situation, remember, your trumps are: politeness, calm, balance and ignoring. Control your nerves, accept, but listen to yourself more than others.
Remember that criticism is part of success. But sometimes you can be wrong and then there is nothing to hide; it happens to everyone. Never be ashamed to admit your fault.
5. Tyranny and aggressive behavior
These signs of manipulation are more common in man-woman and parent-child relationships. Such people are tyrants, aggressors, commanders… And you are always the victim.
Such a person restricts your will, causes you to be jealous or feel guilty, makes you avoid communication and constantly imposes their opinion. They must always be right and know best. Not only psychological but also physical violence is not excluded.
How to communicate with manipulators
1. Step out of your comfort zone. Remember, it will only get worse.
2. Analyze your fears. Maybe your relationship with such a person has only fictional value and you don’t need them at all.
3. Try to be empathetic, try to listen to what such a person is trying to tell you.
4. Respect your personal space; make it a priority for you.
5. Be proper and polite. Even when the person says embarrassing things, try to keep your distance, filter information, and don’t forget respect and politeness.
6. In any situation, be confident and learn to say “no”.
7. Use magic words in your speech: thank you, please, sorry.
8. Don’t create problems where there are none.
9. Be patient. Draw final conclusions and act only with a cool and sober mind. In strong emotions you can do a lot of foolish things. Every decision you make must be thought through down to the smallest details.
