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Raising children is among the most important and at the same time the most demanding tasks that parents face. Naturally, every parent tries to provide their children with everything they need for a happy and successful life. Psychologists, however, warn against a common mistake many parents make: sacrificing themselves at the expense of their children. This approach can lead to children paradoxically ceasing to respect their parents, and thus the entire upbringing process brings negative consequences.
Why sacrificing can have the opposite effect
When parents stop focusing on their own needs and interests and devote all their energy only to the welfare of their children, it can lead to an unhealthy model of behavior. Children thereby adopt the view that it is okay to neglect their own needs for the benefit of others, which can cause them problems in adult life. It is important for children to perceive their parents as strong, self-confident individuals who can find a balance between love for their children and self-care.
Loss of respect and problematic behavior
Parents who sacrifice themselves too much risk that their children will not have sufficient respect for authority. If a child sees that their parents constantly neglect their needs, they will begin to take these sacrifices for granted. This can lead to the child valuing their parents less and becoming more demanding, dependent, or selfish.
The key to balanced parenting
Psychologists recommend that parents set boundaries and find a balance between caring for their children and their own needs. Children should see that parents have their own interests, goals, and time for themselves. This approach teaches children to value not only their parents but also themselves and to respect others.
Practical tips for parents:
- Set boundaries – Carve out time for yourself and do not allow your children to take up all of your space.
- Show your emotions – Don’t be afraid to express your feelings and needs so that children understand how important it is to talk about their feelings.
- Involve children in household chores – Teach them that everyone must contribute to the functioning of the family so they understand the concept of cooperation and respect.
- Ask for help – If you feel overwhelmed, don’t hesitate to turn to family, friends, or a professional.
- Invest in yourself – Continue with your hobbies and pastimes so that children see that it is important to have your own goals.
Return to authoritative parenting
Child psychiatrist David Eberhard warns about the risks of modern liberal parenting, which often excessively prioritizes the needs of children at the expense of parents. In this way, children often become overly self-centered and unable to handle life independently. Eberhard therefore recommends a return to authoritative parenting, where parents remain leading figures, set clear rules and boundaries, and guide children toward responsibility.
Conclusion
Sacrificing oneself for children is indeed a natural parental instinct, but it is important to remember that children need strong parents who take care of themselves. Balanced parenting, which combines love and support with one’s own interests, will help children grow into healthy, self-confident, and responsible individuals.
