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BERLIN, September 16 – On the street a three-year-old boy throws himself to the ground and the drama begins. This little creature can unleash such a shriek that we cannot even imagine it in our worst nightmare. The desperate mother asks her offspring to stand up and walk home with her. The child continues to scream. People around just stare and move away. In some houses windows are closed. Meanwhile the mother kneels and begs her beloved child to stop crying. The child begins to cry even more intensely. His head is already completely red. It has come to the point that a shop on the street closes its doors because the screaming is unbearable. The mother is helpless.
Parenting
Parenting and raising children is a topic that is constantly discussed. People come into conflict and cannot agree on what is right for children and whether today’s upbringing is adequate.
Even in ancient times people complained that children were “allegedly” not sufficiently educated.
In the modern world, however, there are troubling phenomena that concern all children and their parents. At least that’s what educator Emma Jenner claims. In her book “Keep calm and parent on”, she lists five reasons why contemporary parenting and childcare are in crisis.
1. We are not a “general community”
In today’s world there is no “community of adults” with the same values in education and upbringing. No one dares to speak up when someone else’s child behaves impossibly. On the contrary, when a teacher raises their voice, they must expect reproaches and abuse from parents.
On the other hand mothers and fathers are left to raise children on their own. They remain uncertain when their little darling throws himself to the floor in a store.
Instead of scolding their offspring, they only avert their gaze.
2. You tolerate too much
Children make mistakes and cause disturbances. Children do not have to be perfect. Emma Jenner, however, claims that more and more parents justify inappropriate behavior by children and make excuses.
“They’re only children,” a phrase spoken by more and more parents. By saying this, however, one absolves oneself of responsibility for upbringing. Jenner is convinced that children are capable of learning much more than parents can imagine.
This knowledge includes appropriate behavior and respect for others. But children need to be taught this!
3. They don’t obey
Modern moms and dads are always prepared. Almost no situation surprises them and the child does not have to wait for anything. The little one squeals that he is hungry and the parent immediately produces food.
While traveling by car the whole family must listen to annoying children’s songs because the child wants them. If a visit to a restaurant stops pleasing the child, the parent pulls out a tablet and turns on various entertaining videos or games.
Okay, in some critical situations this is very helpful. Emma Jenner explained that it would not hurt if parents tried patiently to explain to their child that sometimes they should calmly sit, not disturb others and be polite. Today’s parents tend to “protect” their children from everything negative.
4. We are overly fearful
Children have the right to make decisions together with their parents at certain moments. This is important and thanks to it they can grow into confident people who can make certain decisions.
However, they should also respect their parents’ decisions. This is very important in today’s world, where obedience and subordination are used less and less. Parents also forget this point.
The life of today’s children is perfectly organized. They go from kindergarten to school.
In the afternoons they continue with tutoring, sports and music clubs. Many parents are afraid (perhaps with reason) that under these conditions their children suffer. There is no need to feel guilty. The result is that parents fulfill everything they see in their children’s eyes and do it immediately. The reason? Maybe they feel they will not manage to fit it into their children’s “short” childhood.
5. We neglect our own needs
Emma Jenner understands that children are the center of family life. However, she thinks that some parents overdo it with them and neglect themselves and their marital life.
Therefore she recommends that parents reserve time for themselves.
Children will see and learn that their parents are independent people with their own needs and desires.
If they learn this in relation to their parents, it will certainly pay off for them in the future.
