Article content
Arguments in a relationship don’t always mean something is wrong. On the contrary! Recent surveys have shown that up to 44% of surveyed couples believe that an occasional argument can clarify the situation and maintain a healthy, long-term relationship. Why do scientists think such arguments are a good sign of a quality relationship?
1. Arguments are a sign of a mature relationship
Constantly putting off exchanging opinions and feeling that an argument won’t solve anything is bad and doesn’t lead to a long-term relationship. If you can clearly and precisely say what bothers you, it’s a sign that you want to take your relationship to the next level. Mature people don’t just shout at each other pointlessly; they raise objections, listen to one another, and seek compromise.
2. An argument means you care about the other person
It would probably be easier to close your eyes to all the things that bother you about your partner. But the effort to change things to make your relationship more harmonious is a sign of true love. However, an argument means you are more committed to the relationship.
Do you remember how often you argued with your parents or siblings? The same applies to your partner. If you argue more often and try to change something, it means you rely on the other person.
3. Arguments facilitate communication
To build trust in a relationship, you have to talk. Listening alone definitely doesn’t help. On the other hand, you must be able to listen to your partner’s objections as well as your own and truly pay attention.
Discussions are one of the most important and sincere forms of communication and strengthen the sense of trust and affection toward the other person. Learn to communicate more productively.
4. Debates are healthy
According to psychologists, there are seven key points for a happy and healthy relationship. One of them is arguments. The fact is, if people never argue, it may look harmonious, but something is actually wrong.
Arguments help reinforce mutual values and attitudes in a relationship by allowing you to discuss the things that matter to you. However, stick to a calm conversation, don’t shout at each other, and don’t bring up arguments that are completely irrelevant at that moment.
5. Arguments strengthen the mutual relationship
When you argue, it doesn’t matter whether you win a particular dispute or not. The most valuable thing is that you learn a lot not only about each other but mainly about yourself.
Small conflicts help reveal your true self and show your partner how they should treat you. You will then understand each other better and it will be easier to reach a compromise.
6. Arguments release mutual resentments
Being in a relationship isn’t easy. It never is. And there will always be something that bothers you about your partner. But if you care, you will always be able to relax your own boundaries. However, if your partner does not do the same for you, feelings of mutual dislike and resentment will grow.
The best way to deal with it is to express your feelings and emotions and show your partner that you are both equal and that you both have your own needs.
7. An argument is a sign that you have a greater chance of staying together
According to several studies, the biggest problem in relationships is approving things that we know are wrong. The subsequent zero communication usually leads to only one thing – a breakup. Even if you think arguments solve nothing, the opposite is true.
Discussions help us focus on a given problem, discuss it, and solve it. By not mentioning the problem at all, you only postpone it. Saying everything immediately is important and is a sign that your relationship has a good chance of survival.
What should you keep in mind during arguments so they are constructive and don’t lead to the breakdown of the relationship?
Respect the other’s opinions – without mutual respect the argument won’t go anywhere.
Apologize – if you see that your partner is right, don’t let it pass. Apologize to show that you took their words to heart.
Stick to the topic – don’t drag into the discussion something that has no place there at the moment. Focus on the specific problem and don’t accuse your partner of unnecessary things.
Do not refer to third parties and other people’s mistakes – if you are dealing with problems in the relationship together, they are meant for the two of you. Don’t shift the blame onto others.
