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You met each other. Then you started dating, later you got married and today you live as husband and wife. But somewhere along the way things changed dramatically.
Why is she still so nervous and stressed?
Rather than superficially patching broken things with tape, you should try to get to the bottom of the issues. Over time, hopefully, you’ll be able to relieve your wife of stress.
However, you can only do that by identifying the real causes of her worries.
You’re not talking to each other
Yes, you talk, but only about the bare necessities. When was the last time you had a really good conversation with her?
If the only things you talk about are your obligations for tomorrow or how bad your day was, then you’re probably stressing her out. Spend more time together, remove distractions (phones, computer, TV) and really talk.
You’re not making the changes she asks you for
How often do you take on your responsibilities around the house? How many times have you promised her you’d help more with household chores or cooking?
If you don’t even try to keep what you promised in the past, don’t be surprised that she’s angry at you.
You’re not asking the right questions
Sometimes couples do talk, but they have a habit of doing it like an elephant moving through a china shop.
You don’t want to pry too much or go too deep, but you need to ask enough to know what’s on her mind. If you don’t know what she thinks and feels, how do you expect to be a better husband?
Where did the passion and excitement go?
It’s easy to be excited and passionate when you’re in a new relationship. However, after a few years you have to try harder.
You may have tied each other down. Still, you must not be complacent, get comfortable and stop trying. Joint dates, gifts, special moments and surprises will never go out of style.
She is the only one who cooks
Your family needs 3 meals a day and that food has to come from somewhere. Maybe it’s tempting for you to just sit on the couch, pursue your hobbies and let the other person cook. But once in a while you must lend a hand too.
No one expects you to cook culinary masterpieces. However, you can certainly cook spaghetti and heat up a ready-made sauce from the store to give your other half some rest now and then.
You tidy up, she cleans
It’s not that hard to keep the house relatively tidy, pick up toys or other things and put them back in their place, or load the dishes into the dishwasher.
All that is important, but it’s not cleaning. Someone has to take out the cleaning supplies and clean the kitchen, bathroom and toilet. Or vacuum. If the division of labor isn’t even, it creates the basis for stress.
She feels like a single parent
Your children have two parents, so logically you should also share these responsibilities.
When childcare falls exclusively on one parent’s shoulders, especially if the other slacks off, you head toward a buildup of resentment and stress.
She never gets to her hobbies
When was the last time you asked your wife what movie she’d like to watch or where she’d like to go for dinner?
Everyone needs time to relax and chances are your other half doesn’t get as much as she used to. Take good care of her and show her how much you appreciate her.
She needs time
We all know that feeling that the day doesn’t have enough hours to get everything done. Adult life is demanding and your wife probably feels that way sometimes, too.
You can help her with that. Whenever a task appears that you can do, do it. Undoubtedly she will appreciate your effort.
She needs space
Each of us sometimes wants to shut ourselves in a room and be alone for a while. If you have children, constant noise can fray nerves and one needs a break.
Just as you can give your wife more time for herself, create space for her too. Take the children out, for example, and let her enjoy a hot bath and a book during that time.
Your priorities are wrong
Many men give 110% at work only to come home completely exhausted. If that applies to you, know that your wife will notice that you give 0% effort at home after work.
If you sacrifice your soul to your job, it will certainly affect your relationship. Be careful and devote yourself not only to work but also to your family.
Domino of arguments
Misunderstandings happen, that’s normal. But what’s your style of arguing? Do you listen to your wife, or does it always have to be your way?
When someone can’t argue constructively with their partner, disputes are only hushed up and bubble under the surface. The result is unhappiness and stress.
She manages everything alone
Your household is like a transshipment port – work schedules, commitments, expenses and other duties. Someone has to manage it all and there is a good chance it’s your wife.
Don’t be just another body in the house. Be her colleague-captain rather than just an ordinary employee.
